Lassie come home...

After an hour of walking around Salawin National Park with a Texan fellow traveller we realised we were lost. We had veered off the path and the Park HQ where we were supposed to be heading was nowhere to be seen. What was funny was that we had been followed by 2 mutts from the very first moment we arrived in the park. They playfully dashed around in front of us all the way and were so distracting it was probably their fault we wandered off the track in the first place.

I will not knock these little fellas as when we were about to head off down another path they started barking in the way that Lassie did when she had found little Tommy down the well. They were running up a small path in the opposite direction, stopping to bark then coming back to us before running off again- they wanted us to follow them! And we did, straight back to where we wanted to go!

I still don't like dogs though but these guys have sure done some good work to try and change that.

Thanks Y'all as the Texan would say.

The compass stops spinning

Over a week ago I posted on here; it was a sizeable affair and my hat goes off to anyone who actually read the lot! If you were party to the ensuing emails then you may have an idea of what I was on about when I said I was inspired to make better use of this trip of mine. Well things are slowly coming together and I feel that now is the time to explain some more.... read on!

I don't want to go over old ground but for those of you in the dark my recent time in Thailand convinced me that the round the world trip I am on could be so much more than ticking off sites in a guide book - perhaps I could actually add value with the trip.

Being so inspired was like a breath of fresh air, but one which whisked my head so high up in the clouds it was comical. I was not thinking I could change the world but I was completely without direction - I had a camera, I had a passion, what I didnt have was a clue on how to combine them! I had set off on a mission but with no idea of what the mission was.

This was when I emailed my friends, family and ex-colleagues to see if they had any ideas. Some probably thought I was mad and some probably thought I was an idealist - these were the people I never expected to reply, and they didn't. Others responded, my friends, and their part in this story will no doubt grow and surface later!

A different refuge

So there I was, a day later in Mae Sot, a small town on the Thailand / Myanmar border, completely off my original itinerary. Acting on impulse I thought I had a plan, I was going to educate myself on the situation with the Burmese refugees who were fleeing from inhumane military control in Burma. Sounded good to me!

It was lunch time and I found myself walking down a side street searching out a vegetarian restaurant mentioned in the guidebooks (It is worth mentioning at this point that these guidebooks dont tell you everything but sure seem to lead me, if not intentionally, into some interesting situations). Anyway I was lost! On sticking my head into a building I realised there was no food to be seen, I was however met with some intrigued looks and some very smiley faces. This I was to find out was the home of HRDP the Human Resources Development Program - an organisation who I'll not forget and one I'll try and help as much as they helped me. HRDP is an organisation run by Burmese migrants to help adult migrant workers get on their feet and learn English, Thai and IT.

As I introduced myself their story was slow to emerge. Over the next few days I was to learn of refugees fleeing from oppression and a violent military run government, one which leads with an iron fist and whose workforce is staffed by forced labour from ethnic minorities. Burma is a country rife with corruption, violence, ethnic cleansing rape and torture - a situation I soon realised I knew very little about. During my time at the border I was introduced to many other organisations and allowed, under a veil of secrecy, into one of the refugee camps with my camera.

In this town of Mae Sot I learnt a lot. I guess you could say I was brought down to earth with a bump. I met several photographers, journalists and film makers in the town and they all asked a simple question but one which I was stuck to answer. "What is it you want to do here?" I wasn't sure! There were probably 2 dozen organisations based in this town with projects surrounding health care, childcare, environmental and human rights issues. I had just strolled into a town with a half baked idea to 'help' - Where did I start on this quest of mine?

Well the answer never really came to me in Mae Sot but all the same I was able to follow the lives of some very special people and take some photos which will be combined in an article for a later post. As you can imagine I only scratched the surface of the issues and realised that the problems ran very deep indeed. Friendships have been made and I promised to help, the full picture will be in another post soon but if you cant wait for then have a look here which gives a very good overview of the situation in Burma.

The jigsaw

I hinted earlier that things are coming together but from the above it wont seem that way. Well that was a good week ago and with the help of friends and even strangers I have been pulling together some ideas. My passion is conservation and the environment so perhaps I should start there to begin with.

I've always known that one person alone can't change the world but if enough people try in their own way then who knows! Well sitting in a coffee shop yesterday I noticed an article in Time magazine entitled something like '12 people trying to save the world'. It highlighted the efforts of people around the world doing what they could to conserve endangered species, habitats and ensure there was a future for the planet. Perhaps my project could take a similar shape.

One of my friends wrote to me and said 'dipping into lots of different projects may give you a feel good factor for a while but it may be worth sticking with one issue until resolution'. I mulled over this for a while thinking he was right but then realised that even an exhibition highlighting several different issues could have one common theme - they all involve people trying to make a difference in their own little way! Just as the Nun Tenzin Palmo inspired me to get off my backside perhaps I could do the same for others. That is the plan anyway!

So my them is 'their own little way!' I guess! I will explore the work of some of these projects and try to capture the passion of the people involved in them. Perhaps by doing this I can inspire others too to 'do their bit'.

I am now contacting multiple organisations around Asia and seeing if I can get to meet them 'doing their bit!' I would then like to use the web to showcase these stories and bring them home to the UK in an exhibition. I would hope somehow this will generate the interest of people with money! If I can sell any of the pictures then 100% of the profits can be ploughed straight back to the charities that hosted me during my stay. I also have a few teacher friends who have asked if I can visit their school and give a talk... what an idea, we can generate interest in the younger generation!

Doing your bit!!

So here we are the final paragraph and a request to see if you can find a few moments to 'do your bit'!! You may be able to see how things are shaping up but it is very difficult for me to achieve this in the time I have. I have already spent 4 hours today contacting organisations and writing this blog so you can imagine that my time is flying! If there is anyway you can help then please let me know, your help would be appreciated! At first thought here is where I need the most help...

1. Contacting organisations. I will create another blog entry detailing the organisations I have contacted but if you can do the same on my behalf for any others this would be great. Tracking organisations or individuals down is a big part of this but very hard to do - if I don't get to meet people then this project finishes here!



2. Website. I need a website, not just my Flickr account or this blog but one which will allow me to describe the project and sell images. I have already had someone who has kindly offered server space but I now need a site to put on it!! Anyone who can design websites or knows anyone who can then please get in touch (ade_taylor2@yahoo.co.uk) and we can talk further!



3. Artwork/Marketing. I am serious about this project and want to show others this is the case. I need a marketing guru to think up a 'name' and er I don't know, other marketing stuff.



4. Spreading the word. As time goes by then hopefully I will have something to show. Even now I have an idea and need help getting it off the ground. If you have anyone who might be interested in this then please let them know. Email friends, add links to this blog, post on online communities like myspace etc. Spread the word!



5. Give me ideas. Please keep me on track, if you have any ideas on how to make this a success then let me know i will welcome suggestions.

Finally, once again thanks for dropping by! I will try and send out a shorter version via email soon but in the mean time keep me posted!

My first bit of surfing in Thailand

This is a bit of an old post finally added.....

Jan 07.... I had been on the road for days in N. Thailand and my bum was suffering from a lethal combination of bumpy roads, spicy curries and beaten up old buses. I was almost on my way to the next city but the thought of fighting through dozens of Tuk-Tuk drivers and spending an hour searching around numerous moldy guest houses stopped me in my tracks. With a very dull and hollow pop a thought entered my head - I remembered my brother and girlfriend mentioning an interesting sounding website called 'Couch Surfing'

http://www.couchsurfing.com/ is a website dedicated to hooking up travellers with accommodation in people's houses. This web community spans the world and you flag yourself as either a host who has a 'couch' available, or a traveller who wants somewhere to stay. If you get lucky then couch meets surfer and everyone is happy. I was initially a sceptic but I thought I would give it a go.

Before leaving to Chiang Mai i signed up and wrote a pretty lame email to some unsuspecting hosts in Thailand and beyond. A couple of days later I was surprised then that someone actually replied with an offer of a free bed in my next port of call. Due to a badly timed power cut in the internet cafe I didn't have time to reply to this kind offer and set off in the bus expecting to hook up with this person after a couple of days of being in the city. Instead this person called me up on my mobile and asked when I was arriving.... ''in about 2 hours" I replied. "Great, no problems, come and find me at the such n' such resort" was the surprising reply.

I was tired and sore when I arrived so decided to take her up on the offer and hoped into a Taxi to her place. When I arrived at this 'restaurant' the scam alarm started raising the hairs on the back of my neck. This lady was not just meeting me there... she owned the bloody place. She'd lured me to her place and would end up charging me for the pleasure of 'surfing' her couch. With my heckles up I started talking to her but slowly realised that she was actually genuine - I could stay for free at her very nice hotel. Now at this point I started relaxing and looking around. This resort was not only located on the river it was tastefully decorated and housed some very nice artwork on the walls. I estimated this place to cost at least 5 times my normal room - this was later confirmed when I overheard some other customers arriving and discussing the price. I had a 4 poster bed, en-suite and a TV... luxuries I had missed for weeks!

It was explained that because the resort was not full then it was no problem to offer a room out as they were empty anyway. "But what about the fact you were giving me food in your restaurant and my room was being cleaned each day" I thought. Well in her mind she was paying the staff a salary so why not let them look after the travellers as they pass through. The food was all bought in fresh so if I didn't eat it then it would probably go to waste.

A couple of other 'surfers' arrived a day later and the 3 of us sat there delighted about our stroke of good fortune. The hosting side of the project is great because it gives people a chance to meet people from all over the world without having to leave the house, what confused us a little though was that the host only spent about 20 minutes with us in all the time we were there! She was very busy with other bits and bobs!

So why host so many people? Well during the time we did spend with her, and from the experiences of others, this host was simply a very kind heaarted person and was offering her room as a way of extending her hospitality to people in need of a hot shower. When I eventually get a couch of my own then I will definitely host, in the mean time guys why don't you sign up yourself and meet someone new?

NB.. I have deliberately not named my host to prevent travellers who may read this from taking advantage of her hospitality. You will just have to be as surprised as I was on finding this gem.

My 10 days as a monk!

Tan Ajarn Po, Abbot of Suan Mokh Monestery
Originally uploaded by Big_Ade.

The Lonely Planet said this particular experience as a particularly hard one. Lonely Planet, you couldn't have underestimated anything more if you tried!

This post describes perhaps the most challenging 10 days of my life to date. This is the tale of a 6 foot 8 vegetarian and his 10 days of living as a monk in a Thai Buddhist Monastery.

A short prelude....What led to this?
Let me quickly step you back to late December. There I was, sitting on the Island of Koh Tao in Thailand, drinking Thai whiskey and watching the sun set with new found friends. It was not long before the topic of New Years eve came up again. Traditionally this has always been a hectic, alcohol fuelled evening which has always suited me just fine. This year though things felt a little different. By this stage I was 4 weeks into a 9 month round the world trip and had already enjoyed pleanty of Christmas parties, I was ready to move on to something else. "That's fine" the crowd was saying, "let's all head off to Koh Pha-Ngan for New yrs and then catch the full moon party". This is where it started to get a little different for me. I was no longer in the mood for spending 4 days drinking on another island, I was ready for something completely different, then that very opportunity arose!

Before setting off on my journey I'd read of many ways to occupy ones time in Thailand - beaches, diving, trekking, rafting, kickboxing courses, they were all readily available around each corner. But there was one thing that caught my eye and that was the Buddhist retreats held for westerners in various monasteries around Thailand. I have been studying Buddhism for the last couple of years and as I was going to be spend then next few months in Buddhist countries this started to make sense.

Now, to cut this part of the story short, I went on to meet 2 random people on the Island over Christmas who had said they were heading over to the Suan Mokkh Monastery in Chaiya, Southern Thailand and this, according to various web reviews and the Lonely Planet, was reputedly one of the better retreats available for 'Farrang' (Foreigners). That sealed it, the signs were there, I was off. Before I knew it I'd renewed my visa and headed to the mainland to the small town of Chaiya where the Suan Mokkh Monastery is located. On the 31st January, New years Eve, I joined a 10 day silent Buddhist Meditation Retreat!

Registration Day - 'Oh Bugger'!
So here I was, 7am on New Yrs Eve, jumping off a bus with some other westerners and heading off to a monastery for 10 days. I had no idea what I was letting myself into and neither it seemed did several of the others.

There was no advance booking so there was an unspoken urgency here - each of us was determined get in. There was no way we would come all this way only to find out it was full. Even though we were talking politely enough it was a race, everyone getting quicker and quicker as we got down the path. As we turned the corner into the 'Suan Mokh International Meditation Centre it was like a pack of dogs had been set loose. We split up and circled the tables eventually finding the registration desk.

Pretending we were taking our time we all rushed through the form ready for the next stage, the personal interviews. Only it was breakfast time, the rush was over for now, we could breath and talk to our neighbours, ready of course to spring into action at the first sign of movement at the registration desk.

So it was at this point I looked around. Half expecting to see a bunch of tree hugging hippies I was pleasantly surprised to see an interesting mix of people of all ages. There were people on their own, wandering aimlessly around between tables and stiking up small talk with others, couples sweetly holding hands and saying their last goodbyes for 10 days, and friends nervously reading the rules, something I hadn't quite got round to doing yet so I picked up the rules and started reading.

Gulp! I was being sent down for 10 days in solitary confinement! No sweat though, this stretch of bird was going to be a breeze, 10 days! Pah!

I read the rules and slowly went white. It went a little like this:

• Strict vegetarian food for 10 days - "excellent"
• Silence for 10 days - "I don't know these people, no sweat!"
• Concrete beds, no mattress and a wooden pillow. "I love camping, no problem!"
• Getting up at 4am each morning. "What? 4am?"
• No food after 12pm. "Excuse me? I have a high metabolism, I er..no?.... oh boy!"
• No reading, writing, TV, Ipod - No entertaining oneself. "No food, and now no Ipod. Oh boy, I hope I like what's in my head!"

So there we were, all shocked by the rules but determined not to let ourselves show it. This was a "chance to really get to know oneself" they said in the book. We are going to find out "who one is, what one really needs or wants in life, what is the real goal in one’s life, how one can accomplish it, etc. This retreat might just be a start towards discovering such important things about oneself." What was I going to find out?

The bell sounded, lunch was over, the registration continued. One interview with a nun, and a tour of the grounds later we went to our rooms to unpack. Actually I say room in the loosest sense of the word, they were more like a series of prison cells. They were 10' x 10' with nothing in them other than a concrete shelf which became your bed as soon as you furnished it with a straw mat (like a beach mat) and a wooden pillow which was little more than a foot long chunk of wood with a slight dip in it (Have a look here for a picture of the room.)

What was around the corner I had no idea but I was soon to find out as we had to head to the introduction talks and then start the silence!

The welcome talk and the start of the silence
I was 100% calm now. I was going to give this a shot and doing everything by the book seemed easy so far even if it was only 4 hours later. This was going to be interesting, I was sure of it.

So I am sure by now (if you are still reading this) you will be wondering what this week is all about. Well during the welcome talk it was nicely explained that we would be taken away from our normal distractions and be shown how to appreciate the moment i.e. not spend our time mulling over the past or trapped constantly planning the future. We were to be shown how meditation could be used for relaxation, how it could help train for concentration and how it could help us to find our 'inner happiness'.

The meditation retreats are hosted by the Suan Mokh Monastery and are led by Tan Ajarn Po the abbot of the monastery. He is assisted by a team of volunteers who donate their time to spread the Buddhist teachings to interested westerners and Thais alike. This month we were to be looked after by team Germany led by Reinhart who had started as an attendee of the retreat some 10 years ago.

During the week we would akternate between several different types of meditation lectures explaining the core teachings of the Buddha (the Dhamma) and how they could relate to a normal Western life. This was where we began to find out why we were maintaining silence and more importantly why we had to sleep on a wooden pillow. Basically we had 10 days to try and still our mind so that we could really make the most of this opportunity, we had to remove as many distractions as possible and to do this we would live as the monks lived, a life of simplicity close to nature.

We were to live as the monks do for 10 days and follow their '8 precepts' as closely as possible.

• 1st - Abstain from being harmful to living beings.
• 2nd -Abstain from taking that which is not freely given.
• 3rd - Abstain from all sexual practices. (Including sexual thoughts!)
• 4th - Abstain from improper speech ie uttering lies, gossip etc
• 5th - Refrain from intoxicating drinks and drugs which lead to carelessness.
• 6th - Abstain from eating after noon time.
• 7th - Abstain from listening or playing music, songs, wearing flowers, jewellery and other ornaments.
• 8th - Refrain from lying or sitting on high and luxurious places.

So there you go, that goes some way to describing how we were to live for the 10 days and why we were to be tortured. The last stage of the day was the Q&A session which would then be followed by the start of the silence. This was funny, there were over 100 people at this retreat and the thought of the impending silence started a panic which electrified the air. People wanted to speak just one last time and everyone was coming questions just so they could say one last thing and to delay the silence for just a few more moments. There were some classics which included, "I couldn't see any mirrors, how can we shave?" answered by "Guess, or don't shave", and "Can we use the toilets over there, only the lights aren't on", answered by "There is a light switch" etc etc. Anyway as the questions faded and the sound of the New Year's eve fire crackers in the local town filled the air we started the silence and headed off to our rooms to start the retreat!

The retreat! - Did I make it through?

I thought this whole retreat idea sounded easy, that was until 4am the next morning as the monastery bell tolled for us to get up. In the pitch dark my fellow meditators made our way to the hall where we were to perch ourselves on our cushions and prepare for our first seated session. Even though we were not expected to sit in perfect lotus position it soon became apparent that I was really going to struggle my way through this week. Within 5 minutes of just sitting cross legged my left knee started whinging, 10 minutes later and the right one joined in, by 15 minutes I was shuffling around like I was on fire - This was going to be tough especially as the daily schedule looked like this:

• 04:45 Sitting meditation
• 05:15 Yoga / Exercise
• 07:00 Sitting meditation
• 08:00 Breakfast & Chores
• 10:00 Dhamma Talk
• 11:00 Walking or Standing meditation
• 11:30 Sitting meditation
• 12:00 Walking or Standing meditation
• 12:30 Lunch & Chores
• 14:30 Meditation Instruction & Sitting
• 15:30 Walking or Standing meditation
• 16:15 Sitting meditation
• 17:00 Chanting!
• 18:00 Tea & Hot spring
• 19:30 Dhamma Talk
• 20:00 Walking or Standing or Sitting meditation

So there I was, realising that the mind may be wiling but the body was certainly weak. By the end of Day 1 I could hardly walk and I realised this was going to be hell. How could I hope to achieve this desired mental calm if all I could think about was my pain!?

This continued to get worse and day 2 I decided to leave. Just before I told them I was off I spoke to a nun, Nun Aree who is one of the sweetest people and instantly likable people I have ever met. She radiated a kind of warmth that made you forget about all bad thoughts just like that. With a few kind words she inspired me to not give in and gave me some good advice on how to handle the pain. This help lasted a few hours, until I sat down again!

By now the silence had well and truly kicked in and it's amazing how your mind runs away with itself if left unchecked. I was in pain and I thought there was no point staying, not only my knees were killing, my back was going now as well! I was off, again! I was building up these plans on where to head next and was then getting angry because I was doing this rather than settling down. A huge part of me was ready to go, I kept thinking, 'it was the right thing to do', 'it wouldn't matter', 'it was an interesting experience' etc. I talk a lot in my head it seemed!

So here I was, about to head off to some national park for peace. Soimething made me stay another day though. Luckily I had read Papillon the week before and for those of you who haven't read it yet it's an autobiography of the amazing Henri Charrière who spent nearly 30 years imprisoned for murder in some of the harshest French penal colonies in French Guiana. It is his story of how he never gave up and never stopped trying to escape from his sentence. Reading this book obviously left its mark with me and helped me to start taking one day at a time, no matter how hard things got. "The fisrt 3 days are the hardest" a Danish girl told us. Mmmm, we shall see.

I was going to somewhere to relax but ended up with a lot going on in my head! When you sit with yourself for hours on end, with nothing really to worry about things start popping into your head with a "Remember me, you've been avoiding this issue for a while, well here I am!" It was amazing what came up.

NB: I was never planning on sharing this next chunk but sitting here in the internet cafe I realise I have nothing to hide and to be hinest only a few of you will have got this far anyway!

Well what came up I hear you ask?! Well.... 'Why was I running when the going was getting tough?', 'Was this what I do all the time?', 'Was I a quitter? No, I don't quit.', 'Ahh but I do sometimes find a graceful exit when there is an easier option. Is there a difference?', 'Why was I still in the monastery, why did I not want to quit this retreat? Was I worried about what others would think about me?', 'Could I come up with a decent excuse to get out of here so that I didn't look like a failure? I know, how about the pain aspect, that's true enough'. 'Was there more? What was this trip all about anyway? Was this me running from something?', 'Was this just an excuse for a change in my life?' Well it seems it was! Apparently being so wrapped up in work gave me little chance to think about what really mattered in life, and what I really enjoy in life. And this was even before day 4!

I was taking one day at a time here, I had listened to one of the Dhamma talks on day 3 which described how we become attached to things and this can be a cause of great suffering. This talk by Tan Dhammavida, an English Monk, helped us to see how our mind can run away with a thought and twist it and turn it until it becomes something so different from the original thought that it basically takes us over. It dawned on me that was what was happening during the retreat. I was becoming obsessed with leaving, or not leaving, and it was driving me crazy. I decided to go and tell them I was off the next day as I couldn't shake these thoughts from my head. I spoke to Reinhart, the coordinator and told him I was unable to meditate because of pain in my back. I was about to tell him I was off when he got in first and said, "Ok, well let's try the chair for a bit and see how we get on". What could I say to that, the pain was my excuse and he had given me a possible solution. I had to try it out.

The end of day 3 and the chair was out, it was helping the back. Day 4 and I was determined to see it through, for a bit at least. This is where things changed for the better, this was when we were privileged to have a visit from the most inspirational speaker I have ever heard, Tenzin Palmo

Tenzin Palmo

At 21, the daughter of a cockney fishmonger realised that she was a Buddhist and in search of perfection set of to India to learn 'the path'. There she found herself amongst 100's of monks and in a society where nuns were there to make the meals for the monks. To prove her commitment to learning Buddhism and in search of solitude to practice meditation she headed off to a cave in 1970 to begin an 18 year retreat in solitude! Attacked by animals, growing her own food and living through extreme conditions she came back from the cave with a determination to change the lives of nuns who wanted to become more than just cooks. A fascinating story which led to her becoming the first ever ordained Beaconee, setting up several nunneries and her tale being published in a book called 'Cave in the Snow'.

What has this got to do with my retreat? Well, Tenzin Palmo was invited to speak to us as part of a Thailand tour. After an opening introduction similar to the paragraph above this shaven headed lady took to the podium and adressed us as a group. Not once did she launch into stories of her past and not once did she try and win us over with fascinating incites into how to survive in a cave. Instead this captivating speaker got straight to the point - 'we were to take what we were learning this week and to do something worthwhile with our lives'.This was an hour long talk and I was on the edge of my meditation mat the whole way through. Pain, I didn't feel it. Basically there is no way I could do her talk justice on here and I wont even try. I will only say that her talk was one of the most inspirational and motivating things I have ever heard, so much so I was left with a tear in my eye - something I have no shame in admitting. This straight talking nun had started a chain of thoughts in my head which would snowball in the next few days to me having a completely different outlook for my trip and I dare say could change what I do when coming back.

I would not call this a spititual awakening as such, more like a kick up the arse to do something useful with my life. Thank you Tenzin Palmo

The final stretch

The rest of the retreat seemed to fly by after this talk. The pain was manageable and even coming down with a severe cold and fever could not hamper me. Each day I felt more and more confortable with myself and my new plans. Even when recouperating in that concrete bed knew that the retreat would end, the pain in the joints would fade, and the fever would break. I had a new project. I had realised I had a new set of goals and I was truely happy about the whole experience.

When the silence broke some of us talked of our experiences, some of us faded away to continue our peace and quiet. I did a little of both and with a grin on my face, I had come out of that 10 days knowing I had an interesting journey ahead of me and it was just beginning. I had realised I didn't have to live in the past or live planning the future, I just had to live, and to do something interesting with it! You only get one shot, everything is imperminent.

You will get this far and still not know what I want to do as I have left it out of this post for now. Congratulations for reading this far, leave this post and ask yourself if you live in the moment, if not then give it a go.

Ade